@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
