My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
