Kiss
Puke
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
