No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
