She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
