nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
