I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
