it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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