bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do herpes really smell.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's the barista slut.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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