dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont even know how to be here
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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