it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
