What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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