Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
FUCK WHALES
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
