even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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