Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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