i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize