i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize