Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
