What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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