He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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