I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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