Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
