Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
