Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
