Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
