i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
