Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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