Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
