Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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