capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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