come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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