Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
