He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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