Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
