We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
