no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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