So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
