What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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