I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
