jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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