Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
