you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
so much tequila, so little girl.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize