did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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