I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
