I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
