i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize