Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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