Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
