bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
