drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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