That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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