You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What a dumb baby whore.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize