Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
