Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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