Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
