guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize