he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize