Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
