Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I need to align my fucking chakras
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
