He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
