eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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