is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize