So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
