They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
