listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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