Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
