Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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