Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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