I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
