hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
