so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
