I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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