i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i drank out of a bidet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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