You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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