I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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