i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
