I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
