I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
