She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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