Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
