He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize